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Daily Blog - Tiger Software Send any comments or questions |
How To Reply To That Question: "How Old Are You?" A Lady might reply: (Sarcasm) Look sweetly into his eyes, flutter your eyes, and say: "If you really loved me, age would not matter". (With False huffiness) You've just ruined a perfectly fine relationship! (With a straight face) You mean in earth years? (With a devliish smile) Way too young for you! (With feigned surprise) I was 38 in July (don't say which July). (Quickly) Why couldn't you ask me this last week? (With a big smile) Thirty three. I don't look it, do I? (Angrily) Old enough to know not ask a question like that! (Answer inaudibly and then after a pause say) "Oh you're hard of hearing.... For a moment I forgot how much older you are than me." ......................................... Jokes ..................................................................................... A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said. .......................................................................................................................................................................... Eating some peanuts, there was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nusring for the aged would be appropriate. Of course the old man rejected the idea, but no sooner he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. On his first day at the home, he spent most of his time laying in bed reflecting on life, feeling lonely. A while later, an orderly stopped by to see how the old man's first day was going. "How you doing today?", she said to the old man, "First day I see". The Old man replied with a nod. In no time the two began talking up a storm. As the conversation began to drag on, the orderly was eyeing the room filled with fresh flowers, cards and balloons from friends and relatives. She noticed a bowl full of peanuts sitting on top of the table next to the bed, and help herself to a handful. As the two continued to converse with each other, the orderly kept eating more helpings of the peanuts. She look at her watch and noticed that nearly 2 hours had passed and said, "My goodness, the time has gone by quickly. I have to tend to other people here too." "That's okay.", said the old man, "I feel so much better being able to talk to someone." Looking into the bowl the orderly said, "I feel awful! I ate almost all of your peanuts!" The old man responded, "That's okay. Ever since I got these false teeth, all I could do was suck the chocolate off of them anyhow. ................................................................................................................................................................
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